Todd's Old Blog

Mostly Ignored

  • The Complete Idiot’s Guide To Talking To Women

    Since time immemorial — which is to say it’s been going on for such a long time that nobody can remember a time before it — women have been asking men trick questions, and men have been stupidly falling for it time and time after bloody time and time again. Perhaps it’s not been since…

  • Some Thoughts on Memory

    Note to self: remember to add some content to this page. Memory is the ability of the brain to retain information over long periods of time, and recall it at a later time…  like when the information is needed later, whenever that is.  If it is. Introduction Memory is the ability of the brain to…

  • A History of Microsoft Windows

      Microsoft Windows is the collective name for a series of operating systems that began development in 1983, originally as a means of reversing the stagnation of the computer hardware market. History In the year 1981, Microsoft and IBM took the first steps of a relationship that would eventually dominate the personal computer industry. The…

  • Linus Torvalds

    Linus Torvalds is a self-admitted foreigner to American soil and a known Communist seeking to undermine the foundation of western society by giving away software that he should rightfully charge dozens of dollars for, were he a true-blooded American and not some Finnish pinko commie bastard. Conception/Inception “Why yes, I am God. I just assume…

  • Cannibalism

    Often called “a new dietary environmentalism for the 21st century” in progressive health periodicals and academic journals worldwide, cannibalism promises to do for vegetables what veganism did for domesticated animals. Peter Sallinger, renowned expert and author of Animal Liberation Through Human Marination shares the compelling logic for cuisine a la cousin in this exclusive interview.…

  • Introducing MediaWiki

    Introducing MediaWiki. The internet-based collaboration technology[1] that allows journalists, biographers, and other “writing professionals”[2] to fabricate truths[3] with greater ease and under shorter deadlines[4] than ever before. Write What You Know Whether you can’t get your subject to commit to an interview, don’t have enough lead time to do in-depth research, or are just too…

  • Garrison Keillor

    Garrison Keillor or simply GK is a commonly available sleeping aid, derived from N-pr-odiazepine, and marketed under brand names Lakewobegonium®, Prairiehomecompanium® and Writersalmanacium®. History After making cookies this is what he does. A highly effective sedative, the effects of GK were first observed in the early 1960s in small test runs at the University of…

  • The Writer’s Almanac

    (cue boring piano) (prod comatose host with a long stick) “And here is The Writer’s Almanac… “It’s the birthday of poet Palmer Dinkel, born in Newark, New Jersey in 1929. He fell in love with the poetry of Walt Whitman when he was in high school, then later with the man himself when he ran…

  • Embracing Mediocrity

    A self help book for losers like you. Unless you didn’t learn to read, in which case you’re probably not reading this now. Through the Curtain You’re fat, you’re pushing forty, and faced with the realization that the boy who once dreamed of becoming an astronaut is no more. A man has taken his place,…