Mostly Ignored
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Rock Hudson
Rock Hudson (November 17, 1925 – October 2, 1985?) is an American actor, famous for his manly, lumberjack appearance and an unwavering masculinity that makes sissy-boy Johnny-come-latelies like Vin Diesel look like tea-tray boys or beauty parlour estheticians in comparison. Biography By special arrangement with Almighty God Himself, Rock Hudson was born “Roy Harold Scherer…
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The Truth About Ice Cream Trucks
Just like the Jeep, the Internet, and the Furby, the ice cream truck was originally a piece of military technology developed for US government use, but subsequently adopted by commercial enterprise to schlep inferior and overpriced products to the masses. Origin No-one who’s ever heard one should be surprised to learn that the ice cream…
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Celebrity Roast
“The idea is to hang out together, find fun with broads, eat some washed-up putz, and have a great time. We gotta do what we enjoy.” ~ Frank Sinatra on Celebrity Roasts A Celebrity Roast is a culturally sanctioned rite of passage still practised amongst the ranks of legendary elite, though to a much lesser…
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British Invasion
“We don’t like their sound and ukelele music is on the way out.” ~ Decca Records on rejecting The Beatles in 1962 The British Invasion, more properly known as the Uke (pronounced yoo-kay) or UK Invasion, was an influx of ukelele performers mostly from the United Kingdom who became popular in the United States, Australia,…
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On a stick
On a stick is one of the most inspired marketing gimmicks of the modern world, with its influence felt, if not seen, worldwide (the stick is generally hidden inside whatever it is that was placed on the stick). Executive Summary Everything’s better on a stick. Food on a stick It is here that the on…
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Oscar Mayer
Early Years Not surprisingly, Oscar Mayer was born in Bavaria, Germany, the hotbed of tubular meat since the first ancient butchers looked down at the rubble of discarded organs and miscellaneous shavings at their feet and pondered, “How can I sell this?” Like most Bavarians, and indeed like most young boys worldwide, young Oscar’s fascination…
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Captain’s log
Captain’s log, Stardate: twenty-nine ninety-five plus tax. First Mission The USS Article is on its maiden voyage to the Gulagha System. While the vessel is incomplete at this time, having been pushed out of Stardock prematurely in order for another more important article to begin construction, engineers at Starfleet Headquarters have offered their sincerest assurances…
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The Root of All Evil
The Root of All Evil is a popular tourist destination located at the head of the Persian Gulf, on the modern-day shoreline north of the original site of the Garden of Eden (now submerged under the Gulf waters). Origin “The Root”, as it is colloquially known, was established in the year 277 Anno Mundi, or…
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Fozzie Bear
Fozzie Bear is an entertainment-industry veteran, and the star of a number of groundbreaking shows including Grizzly Adams, Mututal of Omaha’s Wilde Kingdom, and the 1979 John Frankenheimer film Prophecy. The Early Years Still erroneously believed to have been the sole handiwork of famed muppeteer Jim Henson in 1975, Fozzie was actually born in 1972…