Category: Humour
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Ozymandias
I met a roadie from an ancient band Who said:—”Two fat and drunken legs did groan Staggering through the blizzard toward the can, And attached a bloated corpse, whose dim frown And slurring lips no known words do command. Should you see the bastard, alive or dead, Barking at the moon or beheading things, Say…
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Prima donna
Prima donna refers to the state of American economics and culture prior to 1981. Historians are generally in agreement that during this period it was still possible to bring ideas to market without blatantly sexualizing them to an infinite degree. Defining Characteristics The prima donna era can be described as the period of time when…
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Life’s Answerable Questions
Since the dawn of humankind, there have existed many questions which humans have struggled to find the meaning for. This article isn’t about those. What we’re deeply concerned about is those queries which idiots throughout the ages have endeavoured to formulate coherent sentences about, forget about actually answering. Fortunately, there is no greater mechanism to…
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How Do I Love Thee
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height My tool can reach, when thrusting out of sight I love thee whenever I get a raise. I love thy fulfilment of everyday’s Most basic need, with my pants straining tight. I love thee freely…
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The Norton Anthology of Poetry, Vogon Edition
Platypus Fratundling lightly through the grass, Urply slumltry o’er hills; Plurdled quaypoofs emitting gas, Turgid pea that once was Bill’s, For nonce, for thee, For shame, debris, Waddled pomorphousising fetid puce Formless poit by mangled goose Drunkish foobly stare By the garden gate A razed platypus do contemplate. Ode to a Small Lump of Green…
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The Road Not Taken
Two roads diverged near a neighbourhood, Packed with cars from bumper to bumper; I parked my car, beside it I stood, Then walked to the bridge, close as I could, Near the others watching the jumper; But waiting made me weak and weary, Worsened further by the falling rain, With spirits low and vision bleary;…
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Shall I Compare Thee
Shall I compare thee to a Winter’s day? Thou art more unpleasant and more frigid: Rough skin doth shape thy sagging breasts of grey, And thine icy touch doth not leave me rigid: Sometimes the bright glare of hot flashes shine, And often am I burned within thy midst; The seasons they change as thy…
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I Wandered Lonely Through A Cloud
I wandered lonely through a cloud, Adrift through rooms and crowded halls When all at once I blew one loud; A mighty wind that shook the walls Its pungent scent made all the greater, Standing in this elevator Continuous are the stares that show Displeasure at my odorous way, Wrinkled noses, glares of woe, Expressions…
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The Tragically Hip
The Tragically Hip is a self-help support group founded in 1983 as an oasis for sufferers of debilitating personal magnetism. History of the Movement Gordon the Conqueror In 1982, Gord Downie was just another anonymous resident of Kingston, Ontario. Or at least he would have been, had he not been so inordinately cool. Mornings…