Category: Humour
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Introducing MediaWiki
Introducing MediaWiki. The internet-based collaboration technology[1] that allows journalists, biographers, and other “writing professionals”[2] to fabricate truths[3] with greater ease and under shorter deadlines[4] than ever before. Write What You Know Whether you can’t get your subject to commit to an interview, don’t have enough lead time to do in-depth research, or are just too…
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Garrison Keillor
Garrison Keillor or simply GK is a commonly available sleeping aid, derived from N-pr-odiazepine, and marketed under brand names Lakewobegonium®, Prairiehomecompanium® and Writersalmanacium®. History After making cookies this is what he does. A highly effective sedative, the effects of GK were first observed in the early 1960s in small test runs at the University of…
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The Writer’s Almanac
(cue boring piano) (prod comatose host with a long stick) “And here is The Writer’s Almanac… “It’s the birthday of poet Palmer Dinkel, born in Newark, New Jersey in 1929. He fell in love with the poetry of Walt Whitman when he was in high school, then later with the man himself when he ran…
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Embracing Mediocrity
A self help book for losers like you. Unless you didn’t learn to read, in which case you’re probably not reading this now. Through the Curtain You’re fat, you’re pushing forty, and faced with the realization that the boy who once dreamed of becoming an astronaut is no more. A man has taken his place,…
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Rock Hudson
Rock Hudson (November 17, 1925 – October 2, 1985?) is an American actor, famous for his manly, lumberjack appearance and an unwavering masculinity that makes sissy-boy Johnny-come-latelies like Vin Diesel look like tea-tray boys or beauty parlour estheticians in comparison. Biography By special arrangement with Almighty God Himself, Rock Hudson was born “Roy Harold Scherer…
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The Truth About Ice Cream Trucks
Just like the Jeep, the Internet, and the Furby, the ice cream truck was originally a piece of military technology developed for US government use, but subsequently adopted by commercial enterprise to schlep inferior and overpriced products to the masses. Origin No-one who’s ever heard one should be surprised to learn that the ice cream…
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Celebrity Roast
“The idea is to hang out together, find fun with broads, eat some washed-up putz, and have a great time. We gotta do what we enjoy.” ~ Frank Sinatra on Celebrity Roasts A Celebrity Roast is a culturally sanctioned rite of passage still practised amongst the ranks of legendary elite, though to a much lesser…
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British Invasion
“We don’t like their sound and ukelele music is on the way out.” ~ Decca Records on rejecting The Beatles in 1962 The British Invasion, more properly known as the Uke (pronounced yoo-kay) or UK Invasion, was an influx of ukelele performers mostly from the United Kingdom who became popular in the United States, Australia,…
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On a stick
On a stick is one of the most inspired marketing gimmicks of the modern world, with its influence felt, if not seen, worldwide (the stick is generally hidden inside whatever it is that was placed on the stick). Executive Summary Everything’s better on a stick. Food on a stick It is here that the on…