What’s Happening to Me?

The changes I’m undergoing since beginning this food and fitness regimen are more than just physical.  They’re mental. They’re emotional.

I don’t recall such a sustained period of high functioning without periods of stress, depression or exhaustion… well, not since before parenthood, anyway. 🙂 It’s not that my circumstances have changed significantly. If anything, life has gotten more challenging recently… but somehow the daily physical exertion of exercise has relieved the effects that normally stem from the uncontrollable aspects of my life.

I look at myself differently. In fact, I’m starting to look at myself, period. I’ve had difficulties in accepting my appearance for much of the last 20 years, and particularly in the last 10 as I watched myself worsen year by year while I’ve balanced my professional development and my family responsibilities.

Now, I wake up and I’m not ashamed to catch sight of myself in the mirror. I’m interested to see if there’s any visible change: new definitions of muscle which used to be obscured by excess padding.  I’m no longer immediately anxious to throw on something  loose that will cover my shape. If anything, I’m starting to intensely dislike clothes that make me look like I’m drowning in them.

And I’m starting to notice other people… people that I realize would be really attractive—much more than me!—if they could lose 25 or 50 pounds.  Am I becoming a fitness snob?

I don’t think so.  I don’t feel superior to anyone.  I’m more comfortable with myself, knowing that I’m transforming into the best incarnation of me.  As far as other people: It’s more like I’ve discovered a life-changing secret, and wish I could bring more people along with me to experience it for themselves.

So far I’ve only shared what I’ve done with people who were curious enough to know how it was possible. But no-one’s been sufficiently inspired to want to try the lifestyle for themselves.

I think the soft sell is best.  Nothing that anyone else said or did compelled me to change. It was only when I decided for myself that I had to change that every day after was different.