Recently I decided to slim down. I’ve been overweight all of my adult life…
Plan:
- Lose 72 pounds in the next 6 months
Steps:
- Engage in ritual semi-starvation until even the brown fat perishes in my metabolic flames
- Embarrass myself daily by posting highly personal details about my aging body to the Internet, in glistening, throbbing detail
- Record the reactions of my public transit seat partners, as they find less and less of my butt cheeks infringing on their personal space bubble
- Make recordings of interesting stomach growls and sell to LucasFilm as monster sound effects
Desired Outcome:
- Impress the wife with new and improved sexiness
- Express hidden self-masochistic tendencies I’ve long harboured
- Wear those never-worn clothes that didn’t fit after snacking on the way home from the mall
- Leap large puddles in a single bound
- Put several potato chip manufacturers into receivership
Voat:
1 in favour; none against.
Passed 1-0.
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