Todd's Old Blog

Tag: satire

  • Alternative Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous

    Alternative Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous is a forthcoming syndicated television series scheduled to premiere this fall, featuring the incomparable, incommensurable, and now ailing and incomprehensible Robin Leech. The show features the unusual and unknown lifestyles of entertainers, athletes, business personalities, and other wealthy and successful individuals that you’re completely fascinated to learn more…

  • Compulsion in religion

    Dear Diary, I’ve heard it said by people that “there is no compulsion in religion”. What exactly does that mean? I wish someone would explain it to my family, because ever since I quit attending church regularly, they’ve been trying to compel me to return. Sure feels like compulsion to me. Of course, when I…

  • Ethnicity

    Ethnicity is the state or quality of being non-white, or as social scientists say, Caucasianally challenged. In addition to an unnecessary abundance of pigment, individuals afflicted with ethnicity often have cultural, linguistic, religious, and behavioural aspects that differ significantly from those of regular white people. Statistically, ethnicity has been linked with an overall lower quality…

  • Reasons Not To Kill You In Cold Blood Right Where You Stand

    I forgive you. Life must have been hard on you, for you to take it out on others the way you do. Everyone can change for the better. You’re not as bad as… There are worse people than you, like… I’m trying to be a more understanding person. It’s not my place to take the…

  • Pork is evil

    Dear Diary, Yesterday I was eating a ham sandwich and I had another stark realization. Pork is evil. As wide as the gulf of understanding may be between the Muslims and the Jews, this much they can agree on: Pork is evil. Of course, they’ll continue their fervid debate on the relative merits of the…

  • Billy Graham

    The Chihuahua Provincial Examiner Online — DRAFT VERSION ONLY — DO NOT PUBLISH — DRAFT VERSION ONLY — My Answer by Billy Graham Q: What did Jesus mean when He said the meek will “inherit the earth”? Am I supposed to be doing something to prepare? If so, what? — T. L. A: First of…

  • Prima donna

    Prima donna refers to the state of American economics and culture prior to 1981. Historians are generally in agreement that during this period it was still possible to bring ideas to market without blatantly sexualizing them to an infinite degree. Defining Characteristics The prima donna era can be described as the period of time when…

  • How Do I Love Thee

    How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height My tool can reach, when thrusting out of sight I love thee whenever I get a raise. I love thy fulfilment of everyday’s Most basic need, with my pants straining tight. I love thee freely…

  • Ecky-Thump

    “That proves it, doesn’t it? You said he was dead! It’s like Chinese food, this is. Half an hour later you have to kill him again!” ~ The Grand Master of Ecky-Thump on Kung Fu “I still shudder when I think about the warrior who came up behind me, and the thwacking he gave me…