Tag: parody
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Ronnie James Dio’s Big Book of Nursery Rhymes
About The Author Ronnie James Dio (born July 10, 1942, in Portsmouth, New Hampshire, USA), is a heavy metal vocalist, 42nd level magic user, midget rights activist, and children’s author. When he’s not recording, touring, or being fired from or rejoining Black Sabbath (or Rainbow), he’s reviewing student applications at the Ronnie James Dio Institute…
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The Taming of the Shrew (1st Draft)
Act 1 SCENE I. Padua. A public place. LUCENTIO sits before a miniature trapeze set, a see-saw, a merry-go-round, a ferris wheel and a tightrope. Two shrews wander about, sniffing and leaving droppings. LUCENTIO rises from his seat and spreads his arms wide in dramatic fashion. LUCENTIO Grasp thy paws firmly upon the tethered bars…
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Invictus, Jr.
Under the sheet that covers me, White as the snow but black as night, I beg all visitors that be, “Close the door and turn off the light.” In the grip of ambivalence I’ve often winced and cried aloud. Asked to bestow but a few pence I’ve hid within this bedding shroud. Beyond this place…
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Ozymandias
I met a roadie from an ancient band Who said:—”Two fat and drunken legs did groan Staggering through the blizzard toward the can, And attached a bloated corpse, whose dim frown And slurring lips no known words do command. Should you see the bastard, alive or dead, Barking at the moon or beheading things, Say…
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Life’s Answerable Questions
Since the dawn of humankind, there have existed many questions which humans have struggled to find the meaning for. This article isn’t about those. What we’re deeply concerned about is those queries which idiots throughout the ages have endeavoured to formulate coherent sentences about, forget about actually answering. Fortunately, there is no greater mechanism to…
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How Do I Love Thee
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height My tool can reach, when thrusting out of sight I love thee whenever I get a raise. I love thy fulfilment of everyday’s Most basic need, with my pants straining tight. I love thee freely…
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The Road Not Taken
Two roads diverged near a neighbourhood, Packed with cars from bumper to bumper; I parked my car, beside it I stood, Then walked to the bridge, close as I could, Near the others watching the jumper; But waiting made me weak and weary, Worsened further by the falling rain, With spirits low and vision bleary;…
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Shall I Compare Thee
Shall I compare thee to a Winter’s day? Thou art more unpleasant and more frigid: Rough skin doth shape thy sagging breasts of grey, And thine icy touch doth not leave me rigid: Sometimes the bright glare of hot flashes shine, And often am I burned within thy midst; The seasons they change as thy…
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I Wandered Lonely Through A Cloud
I wandered lonely through a cloud, Adrift through rooms and crowded halls When all at once I blew one loud; A mighty wind that shook the walls Its pungent scent made all the greater, Standing in this elevator Continuous are the stares that show Displeasure at my odorous way, Wrinkled noses, glares of woe, Expressions…