Tag: fake history
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Prima donna
Prima donna refers to the state of American economics and culture prior to 1981. Historians are generally in agreement that during this period it was still possible to bring ideas to market without blatantly sexualizing them to an infinite degree. Defining Characteristics The prima donna era can be described as the period of time when…
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Ecky-Thump
“That proves it, doesn’t it? You said he was dead! It’s like Chinese food, this is. Half an hour later you have to kill him again!” ~ The Grand Master of Ecky-Thump on Kung Fu “I still shudder when I think about the warrior who came up behind me, and the thwacking he gave me…
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A History of Microsoft Windows
Microsoft Windows is the collective name for a series of operating systems that began development in 1983, originally as a means of reversing the stagnation of the computer hardware market. History In the year 1981, Microsoft and IBM took the first steps of a relationship that would eventually dominate the personal computer industry. The…
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The Truth About Ice Cream Trucks
Just like the Jeep, the Internet, and the Furby, the ice cream truck was originally a piece of military technology developed for US government use, but subsequently adopted by commercial enterprise to schlep inferior and overpriced products to the masses. Origin No-one who’s ever heard one should be surprised to learn that the ice cream…
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British Invasion
“We don’t like their sound and ukelele music is on the way out.” ~ Decca Records on rejecting The Beatles in 1962 The British Invasion, more properly known as the Uke (pronounced yoo-kay) or UK Invasion, was an influx of ukelele performers mostly from the United Kingdom who became popular in the United States, Australia,…
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On a stick
On a stick is one of the most inspired marketing gimmicks of the modern world, with its influence felt, if not seen, worldwide (the stick is generally hidden inside whatever it is that was placed on the stick). Executive Summary Everything’s better on a stick. Food on a stick It is here that the on…
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Fecal E.Coli
Fecal E.Coli is the flagship product of the legendary Coca Coli Company. History In March, 1886, John Fecalshed was a poor dairyman in danger of losing his family farm. Pestilence had wrought illness within his herds and literally flooded the fields with diarrhea. Unable to afford to hire extra hands, the arduous task of cleanup…
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Franco-American War
Chronology March 13, 1982 A military force under the command of General Hector Boiardi (Italy) notifies the White House of its intention to launch an invasion of the mainland United States. US President Ronald Reagan puts the nation on alert and mobilizes all branches of the armed forces to create a defense perimeter and round-the-clock…