Category: Humour
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Harry Potter and the Chamber of Somethings
Take 1: The Chamber of Seekers “What’s this all about then?” Harry asked. “Don’t really know,” Ron replied. “It was McGonagall that had me come fetch you. Some rite of passage thing, I think.” When they arrived, McGonagall was outside waiting for them. “Professor,” Harry said. “What can you tell me about the Chamber of Seekers?” “Ah, Potter,” McGonagall replied, “I’m afraid this…
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Harry Potter and the Goblet of Water
Harry was thirsty. He opened the cupboard under the stairs to Snape’s office, and pulled out a goblet. “Aquafina™,” he said, and his face lit with delight as the vessel filled with clean, clear liquid… with just a bit of dust floating on top. No matter, he thought, it probably still tastes good. Harry drank deeply.…
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Another Weasley
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Enter the Chicken
SCENE: AN ANCIENT BARNYARD, HONG KONG THI, a domesticated fowl of great philosophical insight, deeply immersed in the martial arts, receives an invitation by carrier pigeon. HAM (written note) “Greetings to you, Shaolin Monk. I am Ham. As your Master has undoubtedly told you, I was once also a student of The Order, but was…
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4’33”
First Movement Second Movement Third Movement
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The Nicest Guy in Hell
Meet Phil—the Nicest Guy in Hell. Phil wasn’t a particularly bad man during the corporeal phase of his existence… just unlucky. He was sober and gainfully employed, as a podiatrist if you must know. That means that his day to day life was combating fallen arches, toe fungus, and plantar’s wart infestations. Now for most people with a normal sense of smell, this would already be somewhere on Mephistopheles…
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Happy Valentine’s Day
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Cheap Suit
You’ve owned one. You probably still own one. Do you recognize any of the following as current or former occupants of your closet? Uh oh… Somebody’s mommy should have dressed them this morning. Or perhaps she did, and shouldn’t have. Suit #1: Made in ???? This suit was a real bargain. It was made in some country you’ve…
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The Bad Samaritan Chronicles – Episode 1
I was out for a coffee over the lunch hour with a friend of mine. On the walk back to my office I noticed the parking patrol was on the prowl. The officer slowed, came to a stop, then started backing slowly to put himself in line with a black SUV next to an expired…